The Monster

I was sooooo happy! Just finished wrapping up photo shoots for my magazine, they were outstanding to say the least, the magazine was looking superb, I was on my way to accomplish my vision, that issue was going to open unimaginable doors for me as my portfolio.
So far, even with all the previous mistakes, doors were opening right and left, I've made it, we were a success!
Wrapped up the sixth edition of a dream, a dream that would be great for me, my daughter, my friends and everyone that needed an opportunity.
Not only that, that week I was lucky enough to be called last minute to add some of my sparkly touches to a beautiful collection of a fellow Honduran designer presenting at an international event! I made it! I'm in! Those opportunities are hard to come by, I took it and it was a success! Finally, everything is lining up....... I can see it, I can now visualize success, it's coming and it's unstoppable, I've done it! People will know my name for something good and all the bad of the past will be forgotten and erased, I can now be finally known for something good, something really good! I can now make everyone proud! Everything after this will only be greater things and accomplishments, doors are finally open.....


A day later, I felt the earth move, it felt like giant steps of a monstrous animal, at first it felt very light, like it was far away: - "that's unusual" I thought to myself while the earth shook right under my feet.
Something is wrong, something is really wrong! As that monstrosity approach my house.
The monster steps caught speed, and the shaking took over my house, i felt dizzy, ready to throw up, something is really wrong.

All of the sudden, I was in my house....... alone .....and everything caught on fire: my bedroom, my work, my magazine, my necklaces, my pictures, my animals,my happiness, everything i loved, my life! Everything I worked so hard to accomplish, it was now on fire..... I couldn't move, if I did, I would fall into nothingness and while everything turned into ashes, I was there, standing in the middle watching everything burn unable to do anything while the monster was rushing and the pillar i was standing on, hopeless,   was shaking uncontrollably.
And then, the phone rang....... As soon as I heard those words, the monster entered my house, took an ax out and proceeded to split me open, from the left side of my neck to the right side of my rib cage, separating my head from my heart, it was an immaculate cut that left me with a thinking brain and bleeding heart and somehow alive! How can someone survive that?
Not only did he split me open, he then proceeded to give me the beating of a lifetime, I've been physically beaten before, but it never hurt like this time, he kicked me, insulted me, spit on me, abused me, he took everything from me and while I was begging for my life, in the middle of the fire and ashes, someone knocked on the door.............. a familiar face; can he see the destruction? can he see my bleeding body and my burning house?
He hugged me, while i felt the monster's knifes and claws stabbing and ripping me from the  inside on my back, can he help me? can he keep me alive? can he contain the fire? can this friend help me save anything? Can anything of the good I've done be saved?
He sat next to me for I don't even know how long, we were like two kids in kindergarten that have no idea what to do.
The monster took breaks in between friends coming over to try to help in the middle of the destruction, gave me breaks to see the good in human kindness in friends and family that rushed to my side in the middle of all the destruction.
The next day he took his ax again and told what a worthless piece of shit I am, chopped me up again, spit on me and told me to just kill myself.
Broken,beaten and split open, I decided to end it, I still had a ton of painkillers from that time when I had cancer, it would be so easy.
For some reason I called out for help, and help was right there, one of my favorite cousins came to save me and took the pills from me, that man, whom I admire so much, came out of nowhere, dropped everything he had to do and saved my life, the monster got furious and proceeded to beat me up again and again until i could no longer take it and passed out.
The monster keeps beaten me, cutting my flesh, how can I still be alive?
Familiar faces, friends came to lend a helping hand, but there was so much destruction, so little they could do.
The monster moved into my house, he now lives here, if I shower and try to look pretty, he shows me a burned face, if I laugh , he tells me what a piece of shit I am, if I try to live my old life, he reminds me how worthless I've always been, if I try to be positive and try to  have some future, he reminds me how alone I am in the world and how I have no future without any more kids or future for any more kids,If I hug someone,he stabs me in the back, if I cry, he's ok, if I hurt, he's happy
Beware, that monster now lives in my house.
If I'm with you and you see me crying, know the monster followed me there, he's trying to kill me, he's blaming me, he wants me to kill myself, please help me!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZly12eGpNA